


Who's Idea Was This?

by Carter_Casterwill



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone is fairly active, Everyone's gay, Gay, Hagakure's dead, Just a bunch of texts between people, Multi, Oh my gosh, Randomness, So is Yamada a lot of the time, Text Book, Texting, announcements of despair, just rambling, let's be real, nice Junko enoshima, that's what this is, what have I done?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 09:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carter_Casterwill/pseuds/Carter_Casterwill
Summary: Leon Kuwata thought it'd be a great idea to start a group chat with his classmates.He was sorely mistaken.(Rated Teen and Up because there is literally no way that this is staying child-friendlywhen Junko exists. *yeets myself out of here*)





	1. Monday, 5:30 PM

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to request certain things because they might find their way into here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big Meanie: I am so done with all of you. It has literally been 10 minutes and this already looks like someone blew up a bomb.
> 
> Gothic B*tch: You see, Togami, this is what you get for joining our class. You should already know we're in a class of psychos.
> 
> Big Meanie: Oh, will you shut your mouth, Ludenberg? This mess is your fault after all.
> 
> Gothic B*tch: How dare you accuse me of such a thing. Me starting this ludicrous behavior? Preposterous.

_Monday, 5:30 pm_

_Leon Kuwata has started a chat._

_Leon Kuwata has added Sayaka Maizono, Junko Enoshima, Byakua Togami, Yasuhiro Hagakura, Celestia Ludenberg, Makoto Naegi, Mukuro Ikusaba, Hifumi Yamada, Mondo Owada, Chihiro Fujisaki, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Toko Fukawa, Aoi Asahina, Sakura Ogami, and Kyoko Kirigiri to the chat._

**Leon Kuwata:**  I think that's our whole class.

 **Makoto Naegi:**  Ooh! Kuwata! Did you make a group chat?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Yes, that appears to be everyone in our class.

 **Junko Enoshima:**  Ooh!!! I love group chats!!!! They are so much fun to screw around on!

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:** Junko noo...

_Celestia Ludenberg has changed Junko Enoshima's name to Psychotic B*tch._

_Celestia Ludenberg has changed Mukuro Ikusaba's name to Psychotic B*tch Wrangler.  
_

**Psychotic B*tch:**  Celes... Not fair!!!

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Celestia Ludenberg's name to Gothic B*tch._

**Aoi Asahina:**  ...

 **Aoi Asahina:**  It hasn't even been five minutes and people are already changing people's names...

 **Aoi Asahina:**  So... This is definitely my class. 😂

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  What did you expect, Asahina? It's our class.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Imma just warn Celestia right now because Junko might be a little upset that she's already got her name changed.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Muku, you're not funnnnnn! 😭😂

 **Makoto Naegi:** Junko... Let's not kill anyone. 😂

 **Gothic B*tch:**  I'd like to see her try.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  What on earth is going on here?

_Leon Kuwata has changed Kiyotaka Ishimaru's name to NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS._

**Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Really mature, Leon.

_Makoto Naegi has changed Kyoko Kirigiri's name to Sherlock Holmes._

_Sherlock Holmes has changed Makoto Naegi's name to That Kid._

_Gothic B*tch has changed That Kid's name to Watson._

**Sherlock Holmes:** Really Celes?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Yes???

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Okay, who still has a normal name?

 **Leon Kuwata:** *leaves*

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Leon Kuwata's name to Baseball Bat._

_Psychotic B*tch Wrangler has changed Baseball Bat's name to Ball Park._

**Aoi Asahina:**  Just why??? 😂

_Watson has changed Aoi Asahina's name to Deep End._

**Psychotic B*tch:**  Somehow, I managed to make that dirty... Jeez, thanks Makoto.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Junko... Please just stop...

 **Psychotic B*tch:** Muku... Nee-chan, shut up. 😂

 **Byakuya Togami:** What the hell is going on right now?

 **Sakura Ogami:** Did I come at a bad time?

 **Sherlock Holmes:**  Leon thought it was a good idea to make a group chat and Celestia changed Junko's name. It went downhill from there.

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  That definitely sounds like Miss Ludenberg if you ask me.

_NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS has changed Sakura Ogami's name to Ogre._

**NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:** I am terribly sorry, Ogami. Hiro stole my phone.

 **Ogre:**  That's alright. I don't mind.

 **Deep End:** Hey, Sakura!!!

 **Ogre:**  Hello, Hina!

_Gothic B*tch has changed Hifumi Yamada's name to Might Be the Only Straight One Here._

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Byakuya Togami's name to Big Meanie._

**Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** Imma just... I give up. I'll just leave that one.

 **Big Meanie:**  I regret this school, I really do.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  I am truly sorry about my sister's actions.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Muku-nee-chan, shut the hell up!!! I haven't done anything awful yet. 😂😂😂

 **Toko Fukawa:**...

 **Big Meanie:**  And now she's here...

 **Toko Fukawa:**  What even is this?

 **Sherlock Holmes:**  It's a group chat. I'd leave while you still can, Toko.

 **Big Meanie:**  Oh, no. If I'm forced to stay, she stays.

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Toko Fukawa's name to Togami's Lackey._

_Big Meanie has changed Togami's Lackey's name to Fukawa._

_Fukawa has changed Fukawa's name to Trash._

**Trash:**  Happy?

 **Chihiro Fujisaki:**  Did I come at the wrong time?

 **Sayaka Maizono:**  I was just going to say that. What is happening?

 **Mondo Owada:**  Okay, this chat has only been open for ten minutes... What the hell?

 **Yasuhiro Hagakura:**  I guess this is why no one has made a group chat before.

 **Ball Park:**  Basically... Junko is making most of the chaos though.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  All I did was change Celestia name after she changed mine.

 **Sherlock Holmes:**  You are all killing my brain cells.

 **Sayaka Maizono:**  I see why Naegi was telling me to check my phone...

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Awww. We're killing our detective.

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Sherlock Holmes's name to Dead Sherlock Holmes._

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Mono Owada's name to Motorcycles Suck._

_Psychotic B*tch Wrangler has changed Motorcycles Suck's name to Gang Leader._

**Psychotic B*tch:** Y'all should tell Muku to stoooooop. 😢😢😢

 **Big Meanie:**  I am so done with all of you. It has literally been 10 minutes and this already looks like someone blew up a bomb.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  You see, Togami, this is what you get for joining our class. You should already know we're in a class of psychos.

 **Big Meanie:**  Oh, will you shut your mouth, Ludenberg? This mess is your fault after all.

 **Gothic B*tch:** How dare you accuse me of such a thing. Me starting this ludicrous behavior? Preposterous.

 **Waston:**  Okay, but did we actually kill Kirigiri?

 **Psychotic B*tch:** Good Riddance!

 **Chihiro Fujisaki:** You shouldn't say something like that, Junko...

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Junko... Why?

 **Sayaka Maizono:**  Is she dead?

 **Big Meanie:**  I agree with Junko for once.

 **Trash:**  Same...

 **Gothic B*tch:**  You all are monsters if you say that.

_Dead Sherlock Holmes has changed Chihiro Fujisaki's name to Bean Child._

**Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I'm not dead yet.

 **Big Meanie:** Such a shame. I was ready to call the funeral home.

 **Sayaka Maizono:**  Is Togami actually joking with us???

_Big Meanie has changed Sayaka Maizono's name to Shut Up, Slut._

_Dead Sherlock Holmes has changed Shut Up, Slut's name to Pop Sensation._

**Gothic B*tch:** Such a creative name, Kiri.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I'm trying, Celes. Shut up.

 **Ball Park:**  I see why no one makes a group chat now...

 **Yasuhiro Hagakura:**  Yeah, dude.

 **Pop Sensation:**  I suppose we should have all seen this coming though.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  This is our class though. Should you really be surprised?

 **Big Meanie:** Our whole class is a mess. How is it that Mr. Kirigiri hasn't intervened yet?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Kirigiri would probably kill him if he did.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:** Celestia Ludenberg, keep your opinions to yourself.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  But she totally would.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Also debating taking a picture of Mukuro because she fell asleep on my lap and she's actually cute for once.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Are you two together right now?

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Yeah, and she fell asleep and it's super cute right now

 **Watson:**  I bet it's cute.

 **Big Meanie:**  Take your cute talk somewhere else, please.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Let Junko have her fun.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  It's not like we have anything better to do anyway.

 **Big Meanie:**  And this is why group chats are unnecessary.

 **Deep End:** Hey, are any of you girls going to Study Group tomorrow?

 **Ogre:**  Of course.

 **Trash:** I suppose...

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I suppose I should. I wasn't at any classes this week. I got really busy with some cases.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  So long as I get some tea, I'm in. I have nothing better to do anyway.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Muku and I will be there!!!!

 **Pop Sensation:**  Oh, is she awake now? And yeah, I'll come.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  No, but she'll come if I go. She's like a little puppy.

 **Bean Child:**  I dunno if you should call your sister a puppy...

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  I can call her whatever I want.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  Junko, Celes, you two should change your names. There are children on here.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Who are the children on here again?

 **Gang Leader:**  Naegi, Ikusaba, Taka, Fujisaki...

 **Psychotic B*tch:** Mukuro has been called worse. She's fine.

 **Bean Child:**  I'm a high schooler though...

 **Watson:**  Since when am I considered a child?

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I really have no evidence to rebut that. Sorry, Naegi.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  I am too considered a child. I don't know how to respond to that.

 **Pop Sensation:** I do see how they are considered children.

 **Psychotic B*tch:** I love how my sister is going to come back and see that she is now considered a child.

 **Big Meanie:**  I give up. And I still have to see you all tomorrow.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Don't you just love us?

 **Big Meanie:**  I hate you all.

 **Trash:**  Just leave him alone. He's not in a good mood.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  When is he ever in a good mood?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  I second that.

 **Pop Sensation:** I do have a question, Junko.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Hm?

 **Pop Sensation:**  Why is Ikusaba asleep at 6 in the evening?

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Idiot stayed up all night for a dare.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  And it's not like she has a normal sleeping schedule. But you know, whatever. She'll wake up when I want.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Okay... I'm not even going to question that.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  It's not like we don't know the answer to it anyways.

_Monday, 6:30 pm_

**Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  I shouldn't have left.

 **Waston:**  I agree with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ROSTER OF CHARACTERS:
> 
> Psychotic B*tch: Junko Enoshima  
> Psychotic B*tch Wrangler: Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Gothic B*tch: Celestia Ludenberg  
> NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS: Kiyotaka Ishimaru  
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: Kyoko Kirigiri  
> Watson: Makoto Naegi  
> Ball Park: Leon Kuwata  
> Deep End: Aoi Asahina  
> Ogre: Sakura Ogami  
> Might Be The Only Straight One Here: Hifumi Yamada  
> Big Meanie: Byakuya Togami  
> Trash: Toko Fukawa  
> Gang Leader: Mondo Oowada  
> Bean Child: Chihiro Fujisaki  
> Pop Sensation: Sayaka Maizono  
> Yasuhiro Hagakure: Yasuhiro Hagakure


	2. Tuesday, 8:30 AM |Main Chain|

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS: Why does this always blow up whenever one person decides to text?
> 
> Gang Leader: Because we're crazy people, Taka.
> 
> Yasuhiro Hagakura: This chat is honestly nuts.
> 
> Psychotic B*tch: Wait, wait, wait. Hold your horses.
> 
> Psychotic B*tch: Why is Hiro's name not changed?
> 
> Gothic B*tch: Looks like we'll have to fix that.
> 
> Watson has changed Yasuhiro Hagakura's name to Changed.

_Tuesday, 8:30_

**Gothic B*tch:**  Someone wanna play strip poker with me?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  *Poker. Just poker. Autocorrect is going to be the death of me.

 **Big Meanie:**  Ludenberg, take your kinks to another chat.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Shut up, slut.

 **Big Meanie:**  Excuse me?

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Oooh!!! That one came back to bite you, didn't it, Togami?

 **Big Meanie:** Junko, just shut up.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Togami, shut up, slut.

 **Big Meanie:**  Are you guys serious?

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Junko, I leave you alone for five minutes...

 **Gothic B*tch:**  No, Mukuro, I started it. Surprisingly, it was not Junko this time.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Yeah, jeez. It wasn't me this time! 

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Oh, okay.

 **Watson:**  What's happening?

 **Deep End:**  It seems like we can't have a normal chat without someone getting called slut now.

 **Pop Sensation:**  It seems that it's Togami now.

 **Ogre:**  I see.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  I don't object to this.

 **Trash:**  Togami isn't a slut!

 **Big Meanie:**  I object so much to this.

 **Ball Park:**  All who think Togami is a slut say I.

 **Psychotic B*tch:** MEEEEEE!!!

 **Gothic B*tch:** I

 **Pop Sensation:**  I

 **Deep End:**  Imma have to say that I agree.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I do.

 **Big Meanie:**  Even you, Kirigiri.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:** Sorry, Togami.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  I don't know if anyone can deny that, Togami.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  There we go!

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Don't think you're getting out of this, Togami.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  It's not like you have any room to talk, anyways. You're still in debt to me.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:** What did you do, Celeste?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Lost to me in a bet. Honestly, he should know better than to bet against me. He owes me a bunch of money but has been in denial about it since then.

 **Big Meanie:** You're a gambler who's never lost.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  At least when I lose, I admit and accept the defeat. Isn't that right, Kyoko?

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Don't bring me into this.

 **Dead Sherlock Homes:**  But yes. She's not a poor sport.

 **Gothic B*tch:** I'm ready whenever you wanna fess up, Togami.

_Big Meanie has left the chat._

_Trash has left the chat._

_Psychotic B*tch has added Byakuya Togami to the chat._

_Psychotic B*tch has added Toko Fukawa to the chat._

_Pop Sensation has changed Byakuya Togami's name to Shut Up, Slut._

_Probably The Only Straight One Here has changed Toko Fukawa's name to The Book was Better._

**The Book was Better:**  Why do you all hate me so?

 **Shut Up, Slut:** You all are ridiculous.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  No one hates you, Fukawa.

 **Bean Child:**  Yeah, Fukawa. No one hates you.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  Why does this always blow up whenever one person decides to text?

 **Gang Leader:**  Because we're crazy people, Taka.

 **Yasuhiro Hagakura:**  This chat is honestly nuts.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Wait, wait, wait. Hold your horses.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Why is Hiro's name not changed?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Looks like we'll have to fix that.

_Watson has changed Yasuhiro Hagakura's name to Changed._

**Bean Child:**  That's perfect, Naegi!

 **Psychotic B*tch:** That... Just... Wow. That's just sad.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Not creative at all.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  It seems that Celestia and Enoshima haven't taken my suggestion to heart.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Frick off, Taka.

 **Gang Leader:**  Leave him alone, Celes.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  I think Miss Ludenberg's name is fine.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Hey! Hey guys!

 **Pop Sensation:**  Even if there was no gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

 **The Book was Better:**  Oh, gosh no...

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  We're getting into pick up lines now...

 **Pop Sensation:**  Are you French? Because Effiel for you.

 **Shut Up, Slut:**  End me now.

 **Deep End:**  Are you religious? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  You all are going to end us.

 **Watson:** Hey, tie your shoes. I don't want you falling for anyone else.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Not you too, Naegi.

 **Gang Leader:**  I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:** Not you too, bro.

 **Deep End:**  If you were a steak, you would be well done.

_Gothic B*tch has renamed this chat **Hell**._

**Pop Sensation:** If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:** I swear.

 **Ball Park:**  Hello, I'm a thief. I've come to steal your heart.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  I leave for ten minutes and the chat has been changed to Hell.

 **Gang Leader:**  Hey, Mukuro? Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  No? I'm not lost. I'm in my dorm right now.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  He's trying to flirt with you, idiot.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Oh?

 **Pop Sensation:**  If you were a steak, you'd be well done.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Wait, someone already did that.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  I swear...

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  If you were a library book, I'd check you out.

 **Shut Up, Slut:**  That's it. I'm turning my phone on silent.

 **Deep End:**  There's something wrong with my cellphone. It doesn't have your number in it.

 **Ball Park:**  Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Kinky.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Junko, noo.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Someone call the cops because it's got to be illegal to look that good.

 **Watson:**  I must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  I know you're busy, but can you add me to your to-do list?

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I'm turning my phone on silent as well.

 **Gang Leader:**  Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that.

 **Bean Child:** What is happening?

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  Pick up lines...

 **Deep End:**  I'm new in town. Can you give me the directions to your apartment?

 **Pop Sensation:**  You spend so much time on my mind, I should charge you rent.

 **Psychotic B*tch:** My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

 **Ball Park:**  Well, I'm here. What are your other two wishes?

 **Gothic B*tch:**  That's it. I'm turning my phone on silent as well.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  That's three people gone.

 **Gang Leader:**  Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaaaaam.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  Most of these are not welcome in a school environment.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  I'm turning my phone on silent as well. I don't like the spam.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  Four people.

 **Orge:**  What did I come back too?

 **Changed:**  What is this?

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  Pick up lines.

 **Bean Child:**  Four people have already put their phone on silent.

 **Orge:**  I see.

 **Deep End:**  Sakura, join us!!

 **Watson:**  Life without you is like a broken pencil... Pointless.

 **Gang Leader:**  Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it.

 **The Book was Better:**  That's it. I'm leaving too. I was only trying to read a book, but nooo. You all have to ruin it with your awful pickup lines.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  That's five.

 **Bean Child:**  How did we lose 1/3 of our class already?

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  It's not quite 1/3 of our class yet.

 **Ogre:** I think I'm good, Hina. I'll pass.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  At least there's a few more sane people.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  You like sales? Because if you're looking for a good one, clothes are 100% off at my place.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  Enoshima, that is hardly appropriate.

 **Deep End:**  Do you have an inhaler? Because you took my breath away.

 **Ball Park:**  Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?

 **Gang Leader:**  If I had a garden, I'd put your tulips and my tulips together.

 **Bean Child:**  Hey, my name's Mircosoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  That's it. I'm done. It's time to create a sane side to this.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  THIS IS WAAAAAARRRRRR.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ROSTER OF CHARACTERS:
> 
> Psychotic B*tch: Junko Enoshima  
> Psychotic B*tch Wrangler: Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Gothic B*tch: Celestia Ludenberg  
> NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS: Kiyotaka Ishimaru  
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: Kyoko Kirigiri  
> Watson: Makoto Naegi  
> Ball Park: Leon Kuwata  
> Deep End: Aoi Asahina  
> Ogre: Sakura Ogami  
> Might Be The Only Straight One Here: Hifumi Yamada  
> Shut Up, Slut: Byakuya Togami  
> The Book was Better: Toko Fukawa  
> Gang Leader: Mondo Oowada  
> Bean Child: Chihiro Fujisaki  
> Pop Sensation: Sayaka Maizono  
> Changed: Yasuhiro Hagakure


	3. Tuesday, 9:00 am |The Sane Side|

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyotaka Ishimaru: How long do you think our classmates will keep this up?
> 
> Hifumi Yamada: I'm betting for at least another half hour at the very least.
> 
> Mukuro Ikusaba: If Junko doesn't get bored, she'll be spamming them for about 2 hours if we're lucky.
> 
> Celestia Ludenberg: Oh, good Lord, save us all.
> 
> Funeral Subject: I'm about five seconds from killing myself because of the sheer stupidity of this.
> 
> Byakuya Togami: Aren't we all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to request certain things because they might find their way into here.

_Kiyotaka Ishimaru has started the chat._

_Kiyotaka Ishimaru has named the chat "The Sane Side"._

_Kiyotaka Ishimaru has added Byakuya Togami, Kyoko Kirigiri, Celestia Ludenberg, Mukuro Ikusaba, Toko Fukawa, and Hifumi Yamada to the chat._

**Kyoko Kirigiri:**  This is called 'The Sane Side' and yet, I have a feeling that this is going to be a terrible idea.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  Why another chat? This is not a good idea.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  So, we're the sane side?

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  You guys aren't quoting pickup lines.

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  What if I started?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Then you better pray to whatever deity that you believe in to protect you, or so help me, I will burn you alive.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:** Someone save me, Junko will not stop quoting pickup lines to me.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Looks like we're going to lose Mukuro now...

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Mukuro, no!

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  We're not going to lose you to the insane side, are we?

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  No.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  If anyone of you starts with pickup lines, you are dead to me.

 **Toko Fukawa:**  Wait... The sane side?

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  They are still going at it on the main chat.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  I know. It's driving me nuts.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** I'm impressed that they are able to do it for this long, honestly.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  Our class always seems to surpass my expectations.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  Should I take that as a compliment or not?

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  I think we take it as a compliment and run.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  So long as we're not running in the halls, I agree.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:** You know, Oowada just ran down the hallway, Taka.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  THAT PIECE OF CRAP! I must go stop him!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Well, look at that. It seems that we have lost one person.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  About to be two. I'm not one for chats.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  We noticed.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  I do wish you'd stay, Togami.

 **Toko Fukawa:**  He doesn't want to be bothered right now.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Isn't it crazy what fewer people can do to make a difference.

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  It would seem that this is more chill than the other.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  We do have Junko on the other one.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:** And we have you on this one.

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  Ouch.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Be grateful I graced you with my presence, you little sh*t.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  You have a short temper, don't you, Celeste?

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  How is it that you didn't notice that sooner, Mukuro?

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  Try Junko for a day and you'll never notice other tempers and fits again.

 **Toko Fukawa:** She sounds pleasant...

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** And so are you.

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  Wow...

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  This is going downhill...

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  Why did I leave this chat alone?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Is there a possibility that it was a terrible mistake?

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  I think that we're all mistakes.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  I don't think that I've met anyone that I've thought was more of a mistake than anything ever until I met you guys.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  Also, who made Toko start crying because it is so annoying.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  I am terribly sorry for your loss, Togami.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:** Do we need to start creating a funeral?

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  That could be fun.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  Wait, who died?

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Toko

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Toko

 **Byakuya Togami:**  Toko, apparently.

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  Toko

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:** Toko.

 **Toko Fukawa:**  I'm not dead.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  Oh no! It looks like we have lost a valued member of the Sane Side!

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Such a shame indeed. I suppose we must hold a funeral now.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:** Agreed. That would be the respectable thing to do.

 **Byakuya Togami:** I don't think it's necessary...

_Hifumi Yamada has changed Toko Fukawa's name to Funeral Subject._

**Funeral Subject:**  I'm not dead, guys.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  I'm confused. If Toko's dead, how is she texting on here?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Oh, you sweet, innocent child... Ever heard of a joke, love?

 **Funeral Subject:**  How on earth do they still have pick up lines to choose from?

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  You would think that they had run out already.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Indeed. You would think that.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  But alas, the internet is a giant place.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:** How long do you think our classmates will keep this up?

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  I'm betting for at least another half hour at the very least.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  If Junko doesn't get bored, she'll be spamming them for about 2 hours if we're lucky.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Oh, good Lord, save us all.

 **Funeral Subject** : I'm about five seconds from killing myself because of the sheer stupidity of this.

 **Byakuya Togami:**  Aren't we all?

 **Hifumi Yamada:**  I do have to go now. Let me know if they're done when I get back.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Alright, will do, love.

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:**  Celestia is like the resident slut. With all her flirting and all.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Oh no, that's Junko.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Celestia is gothic Mom.

 **Celestia Ludenberg:** Since when am I the mom?

 **Celestia Ludenberg:**  Why can't you be the mom?

 **Byakuya Togami:**  It seems I cannot escape from all stupidity.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  Mine as well make the best of it.

_Mukuro Ikusaba has changed Celestia Ludenberg's name to sPoOkY sCaRy MoThEr_

**sPoOkY sCaRy MoThEr:**  If I'm the mother, then who's the father?

 **Kiyotaka Ishimaru:** That is a fair question.

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:** Hm... I'm not sure.

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:** That's a good one...

 **Mukuro Ikusaba:**  Junko says Togami.

 **Funeral Subject:** nO!

 **Kyoko Kirigiri:**  Might be too late for that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Kiyotaka Ishimaru  
> Byakuya Togami: Byakuya Togami  
> Kyoko Kirigiri: Kyoko Kirigiri  
> sPoOkY sCaRy MoThEr: Celestia Ludenberg  
> Mukuro Ikusaba: Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Funeral Subject: Toko Fukawa  
> Hifumi Yamada: Hifumi Yamada


	4. Wednesday, 7:30 AM |Hell|

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably The Only Straight One Here: Someone's kinky.
> 
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: Mhm, she is. Just in a different way.
> 
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: HOW DO YOU DELETE A MESSAGE?
> 
> Watson: Oh geez.
> 
> Psychotic B*tch: Ooh! Good! I came back for the tea!
> 
> Ball Park: Too late to take it back now. It's been screenshotted on my phone.
> 
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: Seriously, can I deleted that?
> 
> Bean Child: I don't think it's possible... Sorry, Kiri...
> 
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: I'll just go die now.
> 
> Gothic B*tch: No, babe, doooon't.

_Wednesday, 7:30 AM_

**Psychotic B*tch:**  Good morning, Hope's Peak Academy's 78th class! It's your morning announcements for today by me! The one and only Junko Enoshima!

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  So, here's the tea for today! Celestia is now everyone's mom and you can't say otherwise. Togami is the dad, same as that. There were a bunch of pick-up lines over the group chat last night, so if you need any to use on your girl, men, or other guys if your into that sort of thing, go ahead and scroll up.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Mondo, honey, it's time to come out of the closet. And this morning's breakfast is pancakes! Have a lovely day! I love you all!

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  500+ notifications...

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Why?

 **Shut Up, Slut:**  That's the only thing you can address? The only normal "announcement" was what's for breakfast.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  We're having pancakes!

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Okay, if I'm forced to be mom, I'm at least happy that Mukuro's my kid because she's a bean.

 **Watson:**  Morning!

 **Watson:**  Wait... I just read the announcements.

 **Watson:** Junko, no.

 **Pop Sensation:**  What will Mondo do when he gets on?

 **Deep End:**  I think we're all just screwed.

 **Watson:**  Come on, Junko! You know he's a closeted gay. There's no reason to call him out on it.

 **Gang Leader:**  JUNKO I AM GIVING YOU FIVE SECONDS TO RUN!

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  M'kay, that's my cue to disappear.

 **Shut Up, Slut:** I think we need to address the fact that Celestia and I are now married.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  I would rather kill myself than be married to you.

 **Ball Park:**  Savage.

 **Shut Up, Slut:** I see the feeling is mutual.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  ...

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I half want to say something but I'm curious to see if this gets any worse.

 **Deep End:**  Don't we all?

 **Gothic B*tch:** Oh, thank heavens. I was worried that I would be forced to marry you. But now we do have a bunch of children...

 **Gothic B*tch:** I'm getting way too invested in this.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  Someone's kinky.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Mhm, she is. Just in a different way.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:** HOW DO YOU DELETE A MESSAGE?

 **Watson:**  Oh geez.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Ooh! Good! I came back for the tea!

 **Ball Park:** Too late to take it back now. It's been screenshotted on my phone.

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  Seriously, can I deleted that?

 **Bean Child:** I don't think it's possible... Sorry, Kiri...

 **Dead Sherlock Holmes:**  I'll just go die now.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  No, babe, doooon't.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Look at all this tea unfolding!

 **The Book was Better:**  Since when have Celestia and Kyoko been dating?

 **The Book was Better:**  Or friends with benefits? That's even better.

 **Shut Up, Slut:**  Oh, good. We have a reason to get divorced.

 **Gothic B*tch:**  Oh, thank the Lord. Yeah, I'm too gay for you. You're too gay for me. Let's get divorced.

 **Shut Up, Slut:**  I'm not even gay.

 **Ball Park:**  Oh my gosh, dude, you totally are.

 **Deep End:**  You kinda are

 **Watson:**  There's really no fighting that.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Honestly true.

_Psychotic B*tch has changed Gothic B*tch's name to Single Mom of 13_

_Psychotic B*tch had changed Shut Up, Slut's name to GAAAY Slut_

_Psychotic B*tch had changed Dead Sherlock Holmes's name to Friends With Benefits_

**Psychotic B*tch:** There. Now we're all caught up.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  I was going to ask 'why 13' and then I realized that Kyoko doesn't count.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  So that happened... This is why you don't bring up someone's kinks.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Kyoko literally broke her phone, she was so flustered.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** I'm not even kidding.

 **Pop Sensation:**  What were you two doing anyways?

 **Ball Park:**  KYOKO IS A PLAYER CONFIRMED. YOU SAW IT HERE FIRST.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Leon, no.

 **GAAAY Slut:** Honestly, it's probably true.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Or you're grounded.

 **Single Mom of 13:** Are you asking to die, Togami?

 **Single Mom of 13:**  We're divorced now. I can cut you like a bitch.

 **Deep End:**  Not only did we discover that Celes is a total mom, but also that she's an overprotective girlfriend. All the secrets get shared over text.

 **Ball Park:**  Moooom, nooooo.

 **GAAAY Slut:**  I'm just saying. If Kyoko actually turns out to be a slut, I will not be surprised.

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  *casually sips tea*

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:** What did I come back too?

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  Celestia and Togami are the mom and dad of the chat, Mondo needs to come out of the closet and admit that he's gay, Togami and Celestia got divorced, Kyoko accidentally spilled that her and Celestia got into some kinky sex, Kyoko then broke her phone, Leon got grounded, Celestia's an overprotective girlfriend, and that should be it for now.

 **Watson:** You had that ready to go, didn't you?

 **Psychotic B*tch:**  I mean, I was writing it down as it went on because what about announcements for tomorrow?

_Single Mom of 13 changed Psychotic B*tch's name to the Announcements of Despair._

**GAAAY Slut:**  Why do I put up with any of you?

 **Deep End:**  Why do any of us put up with you?

 **Ball Park:**  She's got a point.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Why are you all bullying Togami? Be nice!

_the Announcements of Despair has changed the group chat's name from **HELL** to  **SLUT PROTECTION SQUAD.**_

**the Announcements of Despair:**  There. Now protect our resident male slut.

 **Gang Leader:**  Who's our female resident slut then?

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Junko?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  hOnEsTlY tRuE

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** Wait, what did I just do?

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** Wait, no. I didn't mean to say that. I was just trying to ask Junko something.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Sweet bean child.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  But you're not wrong.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  What do you want, Nee-chan?

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  I...

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** I forgot. Sorry.

 **Ball Park:**  Where are Mondo and the rest of our class?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  They're dead.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  Wait, who killed them?

 **Ball Park:**  Your mom

 **Ball Park:**  Wait, no. That's confusing.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  I can't tell if that's supposed to be me or not...

 **Pop Sensation:** You mom gay

 **Single Mom of 13:**  HOnestly true.

 **Ball Park:**  I didn't mean Celes, but yeah. That could work too. Take it how you want it, Mukuro.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Aw, don't make her think like that! That'll be too much for her!

 **The Book was Better:**  Wow, no shame in cutting her down.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:**  I am so confused right now...

 **Watson:**  Just ignore it, Mukuro.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** Okay?

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Mukuro is my favorite kid because she's sweet. Junko, you're grounded for being mean to her.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  What? No!

 **the Announcements of Despair:** Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:** Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:** Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Dad

 **the Announcements of Despair:** @GAAAY Slut

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut

 **the Announcements of Despair:** @GAAAY Slut

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **the Announcements of Despair:** @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **the Announcements of Despair:** @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @GAAAY Slut, DAAAAD!

 **GAAAY Slut:**  WHAT DO YOU WANT?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Mom grounded me.

 **GAAAY Slut:**  Good for you.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  But it's not fair~!

 **GAAAY Slut:**  Then what do you want me to do?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Unground me

 **GAAAY Slut:**  So then you're ungrounded.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Togami, no. Junko était une conne avec sa propre sœur.

 **GAAAY Slut:**  Pourquoi aurais-je prendre soin?

 **Single Mom of 13:** Parce que ce sont tes enfants aussi!

 **GAAAY Slut:**  Et alors? C'est pas une grosse affaire. Tant qu'ils ne s'entre-tuent pas, Je ne pense pas que ce soit un problème. Je veux dire, tant qu'ils ne sont pas morts le matin, Je ne pense pas que ça change la façon dont ils se traitent. Ils ne peuvent pas juste exister ensemble et s'ils ne meurent pas, on appelle ça bien?

 **Watson:**  Are we just going to ignore the fact that Togami and Celestia are arguing in French?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Pretty much.

 **Pop Sensation:** Sounds good to me.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** I don't see why not.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** Kyoko's with me and she's amused that Celestia actually knows French.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Que voulez-vous dire que c'est pas une grosse affaire? Je veux dire, je suis pour ignorer certains problèmes, mais Mukuro est mon préféré et Junko la brutalise. Et je ne l'aime pas. Et non, ce n'est pas comme ça que tu gères l'éducation. Tu ne peux pas les laisser se débrouiller tant qu'ils ne s'entre-tuent pas. Dans quel monde vivez-vous? Que se passerait-il si l'un d'eux finissait mort? Alors que feriez-vous? Vous configurez une vie dans laquelle nos enfants vont devenir des psychopathes et des assassins. Je suis si contente d'avoir divorcé de toi.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Tell Kyoko that yes, I was serious. Not everything I say is a lie.

 **Psychotic B*tch Wrangler:** She said to tell her that she calls lies.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Well, allez vous faire foutre, Kyoko.

_the Announcements of Despair has changed Psychotic B*tch Wrangler's name to Vessel for Kyoko's Soul_

**Watson:**  What have we come too?

 **Pop Sensation:**  Nothing good.

 **Ball Park:**  Why did I think this would be a good idea? This was a mistake.

 **the Announcements of Despair:** Everything you do is a mistake.

 **Vessel for Kyoko's Soul:**  Junko, play nice.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  But Muku!

_Wednesday, 10:10 AM_

**GAAAY Slut:**  Bien sûr que non, espèce de salope ignorante. Pourquoi serait-ce une grosse affaire en premier lieu? Et wow, déjà en train de jouer aux favoris? Que penseraient les autres enfants s'ils savaient que vous jouiez les Favoris? Ils ne vont probablement pas être heureux avec toi. Et s'il y a un peu d'intimidation? Il ne va pas la tuer. Ce n'est pas un crime. Que savez-vous sur le rôle parental? Vous connaissez sans doute autant que moi, donc si je suis mauvais, que dire de vous? Aucun d'entre eux vont finir mort parce qu'ils sont assez vieux pour savoir de ne pas tuer les gens. Ils ne vont pas finir psychopathes et meurtres à cause de ça s'ils ne le sont pas déjà. De même, je suis contente d'avoir divorcé de toi aussi, salope.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  A little late for that now. I already feel like I won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ROSTER OF CHARACTERS:
> 
> the Announcements of Despair: Junko Enoshima  
> Vessel for Kyoko's Soul: Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Single Mom of 13: Celestia Ludenberg  
> NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS: Kiyotaka Ishimaru  
> Friends With Benefits: Kyoko Kirigiri  
> Watson: Makoto Naegi  
> Ball Park: Leon Kuwata  
> Deep End: Aoi Asahina  
> Ogre: Sakura Ogami  
> Might Be The Only Straight One Here: Hifumi Yamada  
> GAAAY Slut: Byakuya Togami  
> The Book was Better: Toko Fukawa  
> Gang Leader: Mondo Oowada  
> Bean Child: Chihiro Fujisaki  
> Pop Sensation: Sayaka Maizono  
> Changed: Yasuhiro Hagakure


	5. Thursday, 7:30 AM | Slut Protection Squad|

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the Announcements of Despair: AHHH!
> 
> the Announcements of Despair: TOKO HAS A THING FOR TOGAMI, BUT HE GAY SO HE DON'T LIKE HER BACK.
> 
> GAAAY Slut: I am not gay, Junko.
> 
> the Announcements of Despair: I don't see you trying to change your name.
> 
> GAAAY Slut has changed their name to Byakuya Togami.
> 
> the Announcements of Despair has changed Byakuya Togami's name to GAAAY Slut
> 
> GAAAY Slut: This is why. Do you know how hard it is to deal with you people on a day to day basis?

_the Announcements of Despair added Kyoko Kirigiri to the chat._

_the Announcements of Despair changed Kyoko Kirigiri's name to Friends with Benefits_

**the Announcements of Despair:**  Good morning, Hope's Peak Academy's 78th class! It's your morning announcements for today by me! The one and only Junko Enoshima!

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  And now for the tea you've all been waiting for.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Oh, gosh, no.

 **Ogre:**  What's this?

 **Deep End:**  Hell

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  To catch you all up on what happened yesterday, we called Mondo out on being gay, Celestia and Togami became the parents of the chat and then got divorced in the span of ten minutes. Then we got some really important information leaked about our very own Mom.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Celestia and Kyoko had some pretty kinky sex and are, at the very least, friends with benefits. They may be more. Then we had a big session in which Leon and I got grounded. Celestia and Togami have shown their knowledge of languages by getting into an argument in French.

 **the Announcements of Despair:** Mondo, we're still waiting for that confession. Come out of the closet already. We have a science test today and breakfast is eggs, bacon, and toast.

 **the Announcements of Despair:** That's all the tea for now! Can't wait to see what happens next! Love you all! - Junko

 **Deep End:** As I said, hell

t _he Announcements of Despair changed Vessel to Kyoko's Soul's name to Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend._

 **Friends with Benefits:**  Can you guys just let it go now?

 **Watson:**  Kyoko! Did you get a new phone?

 **Friends with Benefits:**  Yeah. Is no one going to let my slip up go?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Not really, no.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  @Friends With Benefits @Single Mom of 13 , Spill the tea on this relationship. I'm pretty sure we're all interested.

 **Friends With Benefits:**  Seriously?

 **Watson:**  Oh my gosh... Junko, leave her alone?

 **Deep End:**  Wait, how long have you to been "together"

 **Single Mom of 13:**  It's an unofficial official thing. About a month. And yes, we had sex and yes, she's good in bed. Does that clear up all the questions?

 **Friends with Benefits:** Rip off the bandaid tactic?

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Mhm.

 **Friends with Benefits:** Probably for the best with our class.

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  We've known you for how long and we didn't know you were dating how?

 **Ball Park:**  How come?

 **The Book was Better:**  So I was half right, if it's unofficial.

 **The Book was Better:**  What kind of kinky stuff you'd get into?

 **Pop Sensation:**  I'm pretty sure they aren't going to get into that.

 **Gang Leader:**  JUNKO THAT'S ENOUGH, I'M NOT GAY

 **Gang Leader:**  And yeah, when did Kyoko and Celestia start becoming a thing?

 **Gang Leader:**  I mean, Taka owes me 20 bucks for it because I so called it, but when?

 **Friends with Benefits:**  We didn't say anything about it because it's Celestia and me. If someone heard I was dating a compulsive gambler like her, I'm pretty sure my career would be destroyed. It's been about a month, not exactly friends with benefits because we both know and understand that we like each other and there's a silent agreement, no, I'm not going to talk about the sex because that's private information, and why are you all betting on this?

 **Friends with Benefits:** Can we just drop it now?

 **Deep End:**  Honestly, you two are cute, so you can't fight it.

 **Pop Sensation:** But yes. We can drop it for now.

 **Bean Child:** Did anyone study for the science test? I might have forgotten by accident and I need help studying before we take it...

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  I shall help you, Chihiro!

 **Gang Leader:** Same here.

 **Single Mom of 13:** Shiiiiipppp

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  OT3, honestly.

 **Probably The Only Straight One Here:**  The three of them are a cute ship.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Does anyone else ship Makoto and Mukuro or is that just me?

 **the Announcements of Despair** : YEEEEESSSSSSS

 **Single Mom of 13** : Yes

 **Friends with Benefits:**  He totally likes her and vice versa.

 **Ball Park:**  Yep

 **Pop Sensation:** I got Junko's and was just like "Well, I guess they're a thing now"

 **Watson:** HOW DID WE GET FROM TALKING ABOUT CELESTIA AND KYOKO TO ME AND MUKURO?

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  Wait, what? What do you mean by ship?

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  It means that you and Makoto should go out together.

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  But we do hang out together all the time.

 **Watson:**  They want us to date and get married, Mukuro.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Honestly, you guys need to though because it's cute.

 **Deep End:**  And we all know that Sayaka has a thing for Leon, so there's that.

 **Pop Sensation:** WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ME NOW?

 **Friends with Benefits:** Welcome to my world.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Who else do we need to call out on their relationship status at this point?

 **Ball Park:**  WAIT! WAIT! WHAT?

 **Pop Sensation:**  Ignore it, Leon.

 **Ball Park:**  Do you actually like me, Sayaka?

 **Pop Sensation:**  I said ignore it!

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  She's flustered now.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  What is even going on?

 **The Book was Better:** You know, we have a test today guys.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  AHHH!

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  TOKO HAS A THING FOR TOGAMI, BUT HE GAY SO HE DON'T LIKE HER BACK.

 **GAAAY Slut:**  I am not gay, Junko.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  I don't see you trying to change your name.

_GAAAY Slut has changed their name to Byakuya Togami._

_the Announcements of Despair has changed Byakuya Togami's name to GAAAY Slut_

**GAAAY Slut:**  This is why. Do you know how hard it is to deal with you people on a day to day basis?

 **Watson:**  Why is it everyone's goal on here to annoy another person as much as possible.

 **Single Mom of 13:**  No, I'm pretty sure that it's everyone's goal to annoy Togami as much as possible.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  GUYS! The title of our chat is Slut Protection Squad! We have to protect him!

 **Single Mom of 13:**  He divorced me. Do I have too?

 **GAAAY Slut:** You divorced me first.

 **Single Mom of 13:** You know what, Togami, this is exactly why I divorced you. You can't seem to get past the fact that I'm always right.

 **GAAAY Slut:**  That's because you're not.

 **Friends with Benefits:**  LET'S NOT START THIS RIGHT NOW!

 **Pop Sensation:**  It's already started, hasn't it?

 **Watson:** Here we go again.

 **Ball Park:** Are they going to fight again?

 **Friends with Benefits:** Celes is typing a long reply in French.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  Oh my gosh. 😂

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  Who's idea was this again?

 **Gang Leader:**  The fight was Togami and Celeste's.

 **NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS:**  The idea that they're married was Junko's.

 **Bean Child:** Oh! You mean the chat! Yeah, that was Leon's idea.

 **Ball Park:**  Way to blame it on me!

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Vous savez quoi, j'en ai fini avec cette. Je t'ai supporté pendant les trente minutes de notre mariage et tu n'arrives pas à comprendre que j'ai toujours raison et que tu te trompes toujours. Comprenez-vous cela? Peu importe ce que vous pensez, vous aurez toujours tort. Je plains le garçon qui va t'épouser, vraiment, sale pédé gay.

 **Watson:**  Here is goes again.

 **Pop Sensation:**  Who's ready for some Google Translate?

 **Ball Park:**  dId YoU fOrGeT tO pRaCtIcE yOuR sPaNiSh?

 **Ball Park:**  dOnT fAlL aSlEeP!

 **Friends with Benefits:**  I regret all of you.

 **Watson:**  iS tHaT tHe DuOlInGo BiRd In My DoOr?

 **Pop Sensation:** hE's CoMiNg To GeT yOu!

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  Here's this: You know what, I'm done with this. I supported you during the thirty minutes of our marriage and you can not understand that I'm always right and that you're always wrong. Do you understand that? No matter what you think, you will always be wrong. I pity the boy who is going to marry you, really, dirty gay homosexual.

 **GAAAY Slut:**  Tu fais vraiment ça maintenant, Celestia? Parce qu'on peut y aller toute la journée. Je ne suis pas mal. Je ne suis jamais de mal. Vous êtes celui qui est dans le tort, et vous serez toujours celui du mal. J'ai raison et tu seras assez chanceuse pour lécher la poussière de mes chaussures, petite pute.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  They are really at this again.

 **the Announcements of Despair:** Also:

_the Announcements of Despair has sent an image_

**Ball Park:**  iTs GoT jUnKo!

 **Watson:**  wE'rE aLl GoNnA dIe!

 **Pop Sensation:**  SaVe YoUrSeLvEs!

 **Weapons are a Girl's Bestfriend:**  Here: Are you doing that right now, Celestia? Because we can go all day. I am not bad. I'm never hurt. You are the one who is in the wrong, and you will always be the one of evil. I'm right and you'll be lucky enough to lick the dust off my shoes, little bitch.

 **Ball Park:**  "I am not bad. I'm never hurt."

 **Watson:**  Someone turn that into a meme, please.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  SOMEONE PLEASE!

 **Friends with Benefits:**  Why, just why?

 **Single Mom of 13:**  Vous êtes le pire du pire. On peut faire ça toute la journée, Togami. Je suis tout à fait pour. Let's go. Parce qu'à la fin de la journée, vous verrez que j'ai raison et vous avez tort. Vous ne dites jamais à une dame qu'ils ont tort ou vous risquez d'avoir des problèmes majeurs. Et lécher la poussière de vos chaussures? Hun, s'il te plaît. T'as de la chance d'avoir un mètre de moi, salope ignorante.

 **Pop Sensation:** Who votes we leave them alone to fight?

 **Ball Park:**  I'm curious to see how many notifications we get from this.

 **Watson:**  I'm in.

 **the Announcements of Despair:**  I'M MAKING A MEME CHAT, LET'S GO!

 **Pop Sensation:**  YUS QUEEN, GET IT!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ROSTER OF CHARACTERS:
> 
> the Announcements of Despair: Junko Enoshima  
> Weapons are a Girl's Best Friend: Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Single Mom of 13: Celestia Ludenberg  
> NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS: Kiyotaka Ishimaru  
> Friends With Benefits: Kyoko Kirigiri  
> Watson: Makoto Naegi  
> Ball Park: Leon Kuwata  
> Deep End: Aoi Asahina  
> Ogre: Sakura Ogami  
> Might Be The Only Straight One Here: Hifumi Yamada  
> GAAAY Slut: Byakuya Togami  
> The Book was Better: Toko Fukawa  
> Gang Leader: Mondo Oowada  
> Bean Child: Chihiro Fujisaki  
> Pop Sensation: Sayaka Maizono  
> Changed: Yasuhiro Hagakure

**Author's Note:**

> THE ROSTER OF CHARACTERS:
> 
> Psychotic B*tch: Junko Enoshima  
> Psychotic B*tch Wrangler: Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Gothic B*tch: Celestia Ludenberg  
> NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS: Kiyotaka Ishimaru  
> Dead Sherlock Holmes: Kyoko Kirigiri  
> Watson: Makoto Naegi  
> Ball Park: Leon Kuwata  
> Deep End: Aoi Asahina  
> Ogre: Sakura Ogami  
> Might Be The Only Straight One Here: Hifumi Yamada  
> Big Meanie: Byakuya Togami  
> Trash: Toko Fukawa  
> Gang Leader: Mondo Oowada  
> Bean Child: Chihiro Fujisaki  
> Pop Sensation: Sayaka Maizono  
> Yasuhiro Hagakure: Yasuhiro Hagakure


End file.
